Saturday, May 30, 2009

Beer Washes Away Gay Dance Night

The Dynamic Duo was a wee bit saddened at missing our chance at a horseback ride so we chose to drown our sorrows in a couple (seven) pitchers of beer at the Tavern last night. Thanks to all who put up with our pathetic cries of "donkey punch" whilst mashing our fists together over the table, a la "Wonder Twins."

An additional shout out of gratitude to all the HPD officers who miraculously did not stop us on the way home last night.

In our drunken stupor we made plans to strike a different but equally important Item from the List - namely, gyrating on the dance floor of Chances - a wickedly fun gay bar. It, however, was not to be, as the effects of the alcohol necessitated lying on the couch with a cold washcloth over one's eyes and forehead.

I'm pleased to say that the four doses of Alka Seltzer I drank throughout the night did their job and I awoke with something less than an actual hangover. Three sausage and cheese Kolache Factory kolaches and a 20 oz. Coke later and I felt nearly myself. That didn't stop me from laying on the couch most of the day, but hey.

I did manage to venture out of the house long enough to buy groceries (HEB has a great sale on meat) and more party supplies for the Luau next weekend.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

2 to 5 on the Horse Back Ride

So, we planned to cross off a List Item this weekend by riding a horse. A mutual friend said her brother had a horse he would let us ride. It was all set. Then about 8 p.m. last night my phone rang. It was M.F. (mutual friend) calling to say that we would have to find another horse because her brother got arrested in front of their grandmother's house just an hour earlier.

The irony of the situation is that he was arrested over said horse. Turns out he needed a place to stable the pony and his granny had referred him to a guy in the area. He met with the guy and paid the monthly fee. The horse had been there just a couple days when he learned that he had paid more than other customers.

Feeling cheated, he went to the stable and confronted the man, who happened to be drunk at the time. MF's brother demanded a refund but the Stable Owner had no cash. He offered his bottle of whiskey as collateral until he could cough up the dough. MF's bro took the bottle and started to walk away when Stable Owner suddenly regretted his decision and asked for his bottle back.

The bro gave it to him, up side his head! Assault with a deadly weapon. He's been dodging the po-po's for the last 2 months (on the advice of his attorney) but HPD finally caught up to him last night. On the bright side, MF is going to sell the horse to pay legal expenses so we might end up owning a horse we can ride any time we want!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

We're Going to Disney World!

Another List Item will soon be marked off. We have reservations for Disney World for the week of Thanksgiving. We are staying at the Coronado Springs Resort on Disney property.

It's the one with the Mayan temple-themed swimming pool. After a short discussion, TD and I determined that this will not count as a two-fer; visiting the Mayan temple ruins will remain on the list.

I went to B&N and read all the Disney World guidebooks one Sunday afternoon. I will share the best money-saving tip I found here: Buy your Disney merchandise at HOME. Here's what I do: watch sale papers for Disney-themed merchandise. Then, sneak to the store without your kids and hide the crap you buy under your bed. When it's time to go, pack one suitcase with "souvenirs." You can dole them out while on vacation, crumb-snatchers none the wiser. No need for them to know you didn't pay $30 for that 12" plush Minnie.

What's Chocolate Got to Do with It?

Already, the questions begin. In no particular order:

Q: Why are you doing this?
A: Why not?

Q: What's chocolate got to do with it?
A: If I had more chocolate I might be content to sit on my middle-aged ass.

Q: Do you actually get laid less often after you get married?
A: Depends. According to our Fun Lunch Friday conversations, I'm way ahead of all my friends, regardless of marital status. Well, except for the gay man-whore but he's an anomaly.

Q: Are you going to the GCHS 20 year reunion in August?
A: If at all possible. I'm taking summer classes so I might have exams that weekend.

Q: How did you end up in Houston?
A: The guy I married wanted to move here. Aside from marrying me, it was his only bright idea.

Q: Are you still married to him?
A: Nope, traded up to a native Houstonian.

Q: What time does the luau start?
A: 1 p.m. CPT

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Day 1 - Hershey's

Ever have one of those days where you are in the office and you just don't feel like doing a effin thing? (BK)
Damn right (TD)
Actually, before we get started we should let you know that this is a tag team effort at blogging. (BK)
Damn right, death to cubicles (TD)

So, anyway, we were just fine until lunch. Working hard and stuff until we went to Pappa's Seafood and I was ruminating on Edward Cullen and the Isle of Esme when TD totally interrupted my daydreaming to ask why I had spittle on the corner of my mouth. (BK)

Side note: vampires are supposed to be blood hungry beasts, not pansies that are suckers for love looking to woo hearts but rip them out still beating. (TD)

Okay, so, as not to sound too weird to our other lunch mates I said that I was thinking about a vacation to a tropical isle because the Meyer chick did such a great job of describing that island off the coast of Brazil that Edward took Bella to for their honeymoon. Which then led to our discussion of places we wanted to visit and things we wanted to do ---- bucket list style. (BK)

Step 1 - make a list. Step 2 - compare said lists. Step 3 - KICK ASS (TD)

So, here we go. We are starting our lists as of today. This blog is to commemorate the shit we do, the planning beforehand and the blisters and hangovers afterwards. We have pretty lengthy lists to start with (see "Bucket or Fuck It" to the left) but are open to suggestions. We will also post pictures and/or videos as proof of our escapades.

Adventure #1: Equine Expedition. Scheduled for this weekend.